Reading between the lines

Like you, I am exposed to so many different information sources each day. Heck, I’m exposed to a wide variety of them each hour these days. What I have come to realize is that the meaning of it all is usually not in the headlines; the meaning lies deep within, available fairly easily to those who would take the time to look.

When the story broke this week of a local minister arrested in a sex sting operation, my heart sank. Thankfully I’ve moved beyond the point in life when my initial emotion was disgust. Today I felt compassion and grief — for any potential victims, for the minister, his family, and his congregation. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I release him in any way from the personal responsibility of extremely poor — and in this case, illegal — choices. I have just come to see things in a different light.

Upon the man’s arrest, items found in his car included condoms, a webcam, a hymnal, and a praise and worship CD. His wallet likely contained photos of his adult children and grandkids. All of this clearly points to the highly compartmentalized life that so commonly characterizes such troubled individuals.

I was deeply moved to see just how profoundly distraught this man was to find himself in such an unthinkable situation. The fact that a three-hour drive did not provide enough time to talk himself out of such a wayward plan seems to indicate the level of powerlessness — or perhaps invincibility — he felt.

And I can’t even begin to describe the disdain I feel for those who seem to revel in the pain of others. I’ve spoken of that in this forum before. We have no right to pass judgment on the spiritual condition of another person, yet it happens all the time. I understand the very real impact that hypocrisy has on the entire Christian community, but for Christians to post gloating and hateful messages does nothing to further the cause of Christ. If anything, it only deepens the pain and shame of the family.

Scripture teaches that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). And, there is no one righteous — not even one (Romans 3:10).

I’m going to say something that some will no doubt find disturbing. I believe that every person on our planet has within him- or herself the capacity for all kinds of evil. That’s because we are fallen. We are each one bad choice away from ruin — be that relationally, sexually, financially, or some other area of life. I am keenly aware of the truth of the phrase, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”

Which brings me to the topic of goals.

Goals are things we hear a lot about, especially in work settings. And, I must admit, I sometimes find the steady work of identifying and evaluating goals to be a tedious process indeed. However, at the end of the day, I surmise that without goals, life would be largely left to chance. And, for me, life is just too precious to allow that to be the case.

As a minister and family therapist, I find myself constantly helping people identify their goals in life. Essentially, I want to understand where they have come from — what people, places, and experiences have shaped them — and where they want to be. These goals include a focus on both the short-term and the long-term.

Having worked as a therapist for a number of years, here are some goals I have NEVER heard:

• “I want to be a wife beater.”
• “I want to be an alcoholic.”
• “I want to be a child molester.”
• “I want to spend life in prison.”
• “I want to be so depressed that I eventually kill myself.”
• “I want to be addicted to drugs and pornography.”
• “I want to be a prostitute and live on the street.”
• “I want to bring disgrace to my family and church by having my arrest lead the evening news.”
• “I want to be a dead-beat dad.”
• “I want to fake my death and run off with money I embezzled from my employer.”

These all seem so very silly when they’re written as goal statements, don’t they? But the fact of the matter is that I have encountered each one of them in one form or another just in the past year alone.

It’s been said that when we fail to plan, we plan to fail. I think that is true for each person to whom the above “goal statements” belong. We must know what we want life to look like and work diligently to achieve those goals.

Perhaps this quick-read needs to be a wake-up call for you. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your life — and your goals, or lack thereof. What do you need in order to help get on track? Perhaps it’s an accountability partner or support group. Perhaps it’s a Bible-believing church. Perhaps it’s individual or family counseling. After all, having goals is simply not enough. Action must be taken to ensure that goals are attained.

Whatever your need, my prayer today is that you will not allow your lack of goals to one day be expressed between the lines of an unfulfilled dream, an unseemly news story, or an untimely obituary. After all, life has a funny way of writing outcome statements for all the world to read. Wouldn’t you much prefer to exercise some control over something so significant as that?

A million reasons to pray

As I have thumbed through newspapers, flipped through channels, and surfed through websites this week, I have been absolutely blown away by the vast amount of chaos going on in our world.

Last week’s devastating cyclone in Burma has left thousands upon thousands dead. And with that nation’s power-hungry regime in place, the free world may never know the final numbers. Those who would seek to help the desperate people find their attempts shunned — or worse, their food and basic supplies confiscated by the government. We must pray.

The tornadoes and flooding that continue to characterize this season’s weather pattern have already left hundreds homeless here in the states. And forecasters predict several more weeks of storms. We must pray.

In China this week, an earthquake registering 7.9, rocked the region for a period of two to three minutes. In its wake, thousands are dead, many trapped beneath the rubble, and many more simply listed as missing. We must pray.

Just this morning, news media reports a new cyclone headed in the direction of weather-weary Burma. What is being hailed as one of the worst huminatarian crises in recent history appears to be getting even worse. We must pray.

Prayer is one of those things that is deeply personal, but I believe, extremely powerful. It is through prayer that we communicate with God. Besides each of these terrible calamities already mentioned, we each have our own issues and situations that need a special touch from God today.

For many, the rising costs of living pose very real threats to financial stability — especially to those on fixed incomes. For others, the reality of job loss is impacting not only their financial status but also their self-esteem. Still others face situations too painful for words.

Soren Kierkegaard once said, “Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.”

Isn’t it good to know that in a world filled with change and uncertainty, we have a God who is constant? I have no trouble finding people to pray for and things to pray about. In fact, each of us has a million reasons to pray.

For today, I encourage you to pray that God will change you into the person He desires for you to be. That kind of change does not happen overnight. It will demand patience and perseverance. It will demand time, energy, and heightened priority. It will demand more than words, more than conviction. It will demand sacrifice, perhaps in a number of ways.

Whether we seek to change the world - or just our little corner of it. . . we must pray.

Are you struggling with something today that no one else knows about? Do you feel all alone? Feel free to contact me. I would love the opportunity to pray for you.

Time for a test?

If you’re anything like me, there are just days when it’s hard to get things done. I have so much on my plate at any given point in time, and it can be difficult to make sense of priorities.

Of course, pretty much everything on the list is important to someone. The bills have to get paid. The shopping has to get done. The kid’s homework has to be completed. And naturally the boss needs to be happy.

Time is truly one of our most valuable commodities, yet sometimes we treat it pretty carelessly. So where does your time go? Here’s a really quick quiz you can give yourself.

With a little effort and planning, you can go a long way to maximizing your time and re-establishing your priorities. Did you find out anything about yourself? What parts of the quiz hit home for you?